Badass Fitness

For a rounder, firmer Badass: A few essential moves

I submit to you, dear Badass Army recruits, that a flat droopy backside ranks equal to a backside that is excessive, "too big," or whatever you want to call it. The fact is, we'd rather not have either. And we'd rather our significant other not have either, right.

In a perfect Badass universe, we'd all have round but firm glutes that fill out our pants just right. Alas, sometimes the universe doesn't cooperate. Or maybe your unhealthy habits turn what could be a Badass into a bad ass. Genetics (yes, maybe you got stuck with Grandma's flat butt), bad habits (those cakes and donuts WILL end up on your Badass) or lack of exercise, all can result in a backside we'd rather trade in.

Well, trade-ins aren't an option. But clean eating and a few essential moves can help round out even the thinnest pancakes of booty. And guys, if you're reading, do not assume glute and backside moves are just for chicks. Chicks notice a dude with a flat butt, and it ain't pretty.

Work these into your lower-body routines and incorporate it into a plan that includes clean eating as well as cycling, rowing (60 percent leg and glute power if your form is correct) and stadium/stair runs. Stick to this, and you should see a difference within several weeks.

Badass Backside Essentials

1. Lunges: These are one of my 'take it to a desert island' exercises. You can, literally, do them anywhere - gym, office, hotel room, beach, outdoor track, airport, whatever.

2. Squats:  Again, you have no excuses. Squats can be done anywhere, and with variations including one-legged squats, 'weighted' while holding dumbbells, on top of a Bosu Trainer with or without weights, Sumo style to work the inner thighs and really hit the glutes. You can easily do an entire 30-minute circuit workout of nothing but various squats. Just ask my training clients, including one who Tweeted last week: "My glutes know @shancola, and they hate her." Yes!

3. Step-ups: These are great for the quads and glutes and you can do them anywhere you find a bench, step, or elevated surface. Plant the right foot on top of the step or bench. Step up, lifting the left knee as you come up (this lift is key - it squeezes and works the right glute). Lower down, tapping the left foot. That's one rep. Try 15 to 20 reps to start, then switch to do the same thing on the left side.

4. Glute squeezes/lifts: For these, you start with both feet facing a wall or bench for balance. Lift the left leg up to about 45 degrees and point the toes back. Starting and ending at that 45-degree angle, lift the left leg higher, squeezing the glute at the top and lowering the leg back down. Try high reps, and wrap a resistance band around both ankles for added resistance. You will feel the burn!

p.s. This is my favorite Nike ad. It celebrates the Badass - and not just tiny ones. Embrace those curves, ladies! And squat and lunge to make them stronger and more powerful.

What happens in Vegas...

I plead the Fifth. No comment. You'll have to speak to my attorney. I do not recall.

Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...and I have decided that the gluttonous food and alcohol consumed in Vegas, also should stay in Vegas. So those fruity cocktails and rich, decadent meals? Didn't happen.

Except they did - just ask the scale with its extra few pounds of sodium and alcohol and...butter cake, one of the best desserts I've consumed in three-plus decades on this Earth.

So this Badass is back on a detox plan of clean eating and zero drinking. If you ever find yourself in a similar boat post-vacay or post-indulgent weekend, try eating by these rules:

1. Lots of water - When you feel bloated after an alcohol and food binge, the best way to cure water retention is to drink more water...seems counterituitive, but it's true. Water flushes your system out. Drink lots.

2. CAB - Cucumbers, asparagus, bananas. The potassium in bananas counteracts water retention. Water-rich cucumbers and asparagus are filling and nutrient-packed but low in calories. Load up!

3. Go Brown, Run from White - When it comes to carbs and sweeteners, go brown - brown rice, oatmeal, couscous, barley, agave nectar as a sweetener. Avoid white flour, white sugar, white bread, etc.

4. Order it 'Like a Virgin' - No alcohol. Period. It will just add extra calories, impair your healthy food choices (don't the french fries just seem harmless when you're buzzed?!), and slow your metabolism. So lay off it for a few weeks. The beer, wine and mojitos will still be there when you return for Happy Hour.

5. Sweat it out: Kick up your cardio for a few days, adding intensity and endurance - maybe an extra 15 minutes beyond your 'normal' 30 or 45. The endorphins alone will make you feel better, and you'll sweat out some of the salt in those delicious meals you indulged in. I got in lots of sweat Sunday and felt worlds better afterward!

Coming up: For a rounder Badass, three essential moves...