I'm not sure which is worse: The gym-goers who treat the machines like living room furniture meant for lounging, or the ones who treat the locker room like their own bathroom -- prancing around butt-naked and sitting all over the benches with their 'junk.'
But I know this: None of it makes my experience at the gym any more pleasant. And I'm gonna take a crazy guess here that I'm not the only one who gets annoyed at how quickly some people forget the Golden Rule the minute they step inside the gym.
Yes, that whole "Do unto others" thing absolutely should guide the behavior of all gym-goers. Unfortunately, too many of the people I see every day apparently enjoy being subjected to long waits for machines, a mess of dumbbells strewn all over the gym floor, and benches covered in sweat that nasty Mr. Steroids never bothered to wipe down. Thanks, buddy. Have another shot of "juice."
Summer is right around the corner, and I know some of my fellow Badasses here in Tallahassee have plans to whip themselves back into shape after the long days and bad meals that marked the 60-day legislative session. Maybe you other Badasses are finally ready to kick it into gear, too. So hopefully this Gym Etiquette refresher course comes at a good time. (Tomorrow, Badass Foodie has a get-clean plan that takes you from kitchen fridge to grocery store)
Maybe, just maybe, you'll print this out and post it in your gym locker room -- a not-so-subtle reminder for those who need to be reminded! ;)
Badass CEO's Gym Etiquette Refresher Course
1. Get up off your Badass: That chest press machine might look like a cheap Lazy-Boy, but it's actually meant for performing exercises. And odds are, others are waiting to use the machine. So please refrain from using it to sit and daydream about what you might look like if you, ya know, actually did some chest presses. Bust out your reps and move along.
2. Your sweat is not yummy: Sorry to break it to ya, but this Badass is not turned on by the sweat you leave behind on that flat bench or hamstring curl machine. I'm pretty sure noone else is, either. The towel you brought is meant as more than just a fashion accessory - it is an ideal tool for wiping your sweat off the machine. And if you forgot to bring one, use the sanitary wipes that are likely installed all over the gym floor.
3. Walk away from the dumbbell rack: It is really annoying, a friend reminded me this weekend, when someone walks up to the dumbbell rack, grabs a set of weights, and then stands right over the whole row of dumbbells while performing sets. Now none of us can get to the rest of the dumbbells because Mr. Hover is, well, hovering. So grab the dumbbells you need and step back a few paces.
4. Walk back to the dumbbell rack: Equally annoying is the person who takes a few sets of varying weights off the rack, uses them and then just leaves them strewn all over the floor. Gee, I wonder what her living room looks like! The gym is not just your space; it's there for all the other members. And none of us wants to be tripping over your abandoned weights or hunting for missing weights that you were too lazy to re-rack. And news flash: You can build strength while re-racking and un-racking those 25- and 45-pound weights. And isn't that what you're in the gym to do? Get stronger?
5. Protect the family jewels: OK, so when I used to work out at this one gym in Tallahassee, there was a guy we liked to call "Nut Sack." This nickname referred to the, ahem, body part we could unfortunately see when he did chest presses on a flat bench because his shorts were waaaaay too short. As in, the shorts were meant for a 12-year-old -- not a 50-something guy with a big gut. And to make matters worse, he sauntered around just whistling in the creepiest way. So when you guys and gals get dressed for the gym, just remember that we don't want to see your girly bits and man parts.
6. It's a locker room, not your bedroom or bathroom: I'm certainly not the prudish type, but I also have no desire to see half-strangers wandering from shower to locker, to bathroom stall, back to locker -- all while butt-naked. The reason they make towels in sizes larger than hand towels is so that you can wrap yourself in it after showering. One friend said there's a big hairy guy who walks around naked and then sits his hairy Badass on one of the locker room benches. Well, thanks, Mr. Hair, for sharing all of yourself! Blech. Get a towel, dude! Again: Noone wants to see your hairy bits!
7. The gym is not the American Idol stage: I cannot deal with the people who treat a treadmill like a shower. They put that iPod on, and all of a sudden they start belting out God knows what, as if they were not surrounded by dozens of strangers who frankly haven't had enough coffee yet to deal with such noise. Guess what, lady? You're no Carrie Underwood or Beyonce. And even if you were, the gym is not the appropriate 'stage' for your 'show.' So can it.
8. Your cell phone and iPod don't belong in class: It's totally fine to peck texts into your cell phone or blare your iPod when you're working out in the main part of the gym. But when you step into a group class, including Spinning, it's time to put the phone and iPod away. As a cycling instructor, nothing irks me more than the students who come in, get onto a bike -- and then put on their iPod. Guess what, hon? This is MY class so we do it to MY music. Period. And if you're texting, you're not working. So why even come? That kindergarten rule of being respectful to your teacher still applies. The phone and the iPod or not respectful. So ditch them, or leave.
Whew! I dunno about you Badasses, but it sure felt good to vent and get all that off my chest! Still, I'm sure I missed a huge gym faux pax that bugs you, so please share your gym etiquette rules in the comments section below!
Coming tomorrow: Badass Foodie says - To be a Badass, the Food is Fundamental!