The gym is not a karaoke bar. It is not a strip club. It is not a large room filled with benches meant for lounging on or using as foot rests while you talk about last night's football game.
Yet, the workout room gets used as all of the above at various times. Does your gym have a guy who sings at the top of his lungs to the music playing on the gym speakers? Loud, like karaoke loud. Like "Hey I'm just here in the shower" loud? Wow.
Or maybe your gym has the ladies in really short shorts with 'Juicy' emblazoned across the back - as if having a "juicy butt" were something to brag about. Seems more like a medical condition to me...
So this all brings us to the subject of gym etiquette. Here are my Top 5 List of "Do Nots" when at the gym. I'm no doubt overlooking some biggies, so let us know in the comments section below!
Gym Do Nots
1. Do not sing loudly, and frequently, to the music in your iPod or playing overhead. This is simply annoying, and unless you want people to part from you like Biblical waters, you're better off saving the solo for karaoke night.
2. Do not wear shorts that will reveal your fun box or family jewels when doing standard exercises like squats and deadlifts. I once worked at a Tampa gym owned by the owner and founder of the Mons Venus strip club. Even there, said shorts would be a faux pax. The gym is the gym. The strip club is the strip club. Keep the hoo-hah covered.
3. Do not use the benches for just hanging out. The living room is a better place for lounging. Someone is probably waiting to use that bench.
4. Do not walk away without cleaning up...your sweat. Your significant other might like your sweat, but odds are everyone else in the gym would rather not sit in it. So make the most of that towel. Wax on, wax off....
5. Do not treat the gym like a cluttered living room or bedroom. Maybe at home you leave a trail of items in your wake, never putting anything back in its place and leaving empty cups all over various tables and countertops. That's cool - your home is your kingdom, so do what you want there. But the gym is not your home. It is a shared space. Respect it. Put the dumbbells and weight plates back. Throw out your protein shake containers and empty water bottles.
OK, enough of "rules" - time for Music!!! There's a reason why we don't have an urge to get up and shake our tailfeathers in the library. It's too quiet! If you're needing a little mojo to get you up and moving toward your fitness goals, the fastest remedy is a phat jams playlist. Here's one of my latest faves:
Morning Mojo Music
- Galaxy Bounce - Chemical Brothers
- S&M Remix - Rihanna with Britney Spears
- Sweat (French Connection Mix, 130 BPM) - Snoop Dogg
- Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
- Ragtime Interlude (I'm Really Hot) - Missy Elliott
- Booty Bounce - Dev
- Right Here Right Now -Fat Boy Slim
- Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
- Uprising - Muse
- Till I Collapse - Eminem
Coming up: Another Friday Confessional....start fessing up! And a word on fitness naysayers and Debbie (or Don) Downers